Happy 22 months

You are 22 months old today my angel.
I miss you every second.
Love you loads
Dad xx

Hey darling

My little princess, how i wish i could hold and kiss you. I miss you so much bam bam.
I used to call you bam bam when you were little or littler...

I jus wish that everything was different and we were still playing and having fun together but it seems that you and I have to be patient for now.

Lots of love

Dad

I am always there for you

There's nothing that could ever change how I feel about you, I love you princess. I remember noticing the maturity I have witnessed in how you handled little conflicts and how much you enjoyed playing together.

I am very proud of you my little girl and I cherish the memories of our vacations.  I hope you achieve all your dreams and I hope to be there next to you when this happens. I believe you will be a very smart and successful person and I hope you don’t feel abandoned by your daddy as I am always here for you.

Good night

Good night angel. Hope you are having sweet dreams

Love you

Dad

Hey princess, just a quick note to wish you a nice weekend my darling Ava. It's sunny here in London but cold, I hope you're out somewhere doing something nice.
Love you kiddo
Dad

good morning darling... I love you and hope you have a great day today.

Always missing you

I am missing you and I can't wait to see you hopefully soon.

I love you little princess...

Always

Dad

Morning gorgeous

Hey little one, I hope you've had a good weekend my darling.

I've missed you more than anything, I've spent some time with a friend who has a 10 months old little boy and spending time with him made me think even more about you. Ohh how i miss you my angel....

I was looking at some correspondences and found a letter from just before my birthday this year, then we were seeing each other 3 times a week and we had an amazing time together, anyway just before my birthday I asked your mother to spend my birthday with you and her answer was:

"I do not believe it to be appropriate for Ava to spend the whole day with you on your birthday, or at all. Ava is 14 months old. She will not have any understanding of the fact that it is her Dad's birthday and whilst this proposal is for your benefit, I feel it is too much for Ava."

This correspondence was written on 3 May and you were 15 months not 14 !! !!

Hopefully we'll spend other birthdays together my darling.

With love

Dad

Happy 21 months

Princess Ava today you turn 21 months.

I wish we could be together my dear, i think of you every minute.

Since your mother does not allow us to spend time together I try to follow how other kids of your age are developing, this makes me feel closer to you.

This is what I think you should be doing by now:

Helps around the house 

Your are probably interested in rearranging furniture, assisting with housework, and using your own play shelves, table, and chairs. You might also be able to put on your clothing, wash and dry your hands, or brush your teeth with help.

Want to do it your way 

You should be showing signs that you are growing up with tantrums and exploration, also want things done your way. This is a sign that you feel secure enough to want to manage for yourself. I hope people around you respect your preferences and interests and try to give in on the little things, like which jam to use on toast or which shirt or blanket to use.  Of course some things, like behavior that affects safety are not up for negotiation. 

Finally I wonder if you are ready for toilet training and sticking to routines, this helps you feel secure and in control. 

Love you

Dad

You make me smile

I wish I could be there always, but I cannot. Sometimes I wonder if tears make the pain better or worse. Could there ever be too many or not enough? I am no superman, but I know I have found one of the best parts of me, and even when I miss you too much to say, you still makes me smile…

Still fighting for you my darling

Hey princess, hope you're ok and enjoying life my darling.

I miss you a lot my dear, sometimes i think it'll get easier but it seems the other way around.

Today i was in court again, your mum wants to go to the US with you, I think that for now it'll be a good idea so you can be looked after by your extended family and play with your cousins. In fact i always thought that growing up in the MidWest and being close to family would be good for you but your mum didn't think so then. She has now changed her mind. You're too young to make your own decisions so you'll have to rely on others to make the right decisions for you.

For now i'm kept out of your life but so you know it's not my choice, in fact i would spend every hour of the day with you princess but trust me it'll change. Hopefully soon we can spend some time together and have fun.

Today i asked to see you twice a year if you went to live in the USA but your mother doesn't agree, she doesn't want us to have contact. She did however 'offer' Skype calls with you once a week. It is obviously not acceptable and i'll do all i can for us to have some quality time together.

Your grandma Fatima and grandpa Mario asked me to put a quote in your blog, they also love you and miss you so much my darling.

I love you so much my dear and will always fight for you.

Always

Dad

Hope you are having sweet dreams....

You should be asleep now darling.... you wont remember this but so you know i used to put you to bed most nights my darling.
I would sing songs in Portuguese (sometimes in English too) and you'd fall asleep on my chest, in my arms.

I love you my dear

Dad

Just wanted to tell you....

I wanted to make sure i told you today.....How much I Love You
And it is for sure a lot my angel
I love you
Dad

At some point in your future you might look back and wonder why I wasn't there all the time, and for now lets just call it "circumstance", but please - I hope that you understand that even if I was not right there every moment in person, I was always with you, and I always carried you with me....

Ava,

I want a better world for you, i do not want you to ever make the mistakes I have made, or feel any of the pain i have ever felt. 

I know you will have your trials and your triumphs, and I hope I can help you celebrate the good times, and I hope you will take my hand when I offer it to help you after you have stumbled....

I wish I could make today different, and I am not giving up, and I hope I never do...

I want you to know how much you make me smile, and how much I love you...it's not every day that I get the chance to tell you... although I have tried to make it that way... and sometimes this is the only way to let you know...

But I do love you so much...  and you are my hope...

I love you little one...

Dad

I LOVE YOU MY CHILD

If I could bring you a world full of happiness, I would. If I could take your sadness and pain and feel them for you, I would. If I could give you the strength to handle the problems that this world may have for you, I’d do that, too. There is nothing that I wouldn’t do for you to bring laughter instead of tears into your life...

I can’t give you happiness, but I can feel it with you. I can’t take away all your hurts in this world, but I can share them with you. I can’t give you strength when you need it the most, but I can try to be strong for you.

I can be there to tell you how much I love you. In times when you feel you need to reach out to someone, I can be there for you, not to change how you feel, but to go through these times with you.

When you were little, I could hold you in my arms to comfort you but you’ll never be too grown up for me to put my arms around you. You are so special to me, and the most precious gift I could have ever received was you on the day you were born.

I Love You!

You are always on my mind

Hello my little angel, early this week i was taken to see a play called Priscilla Queen of the Desert.

There is an act where they sing a song called 'Always on My Mind' and I could not stop thinking of you.

It's about a man who re-encounters his soon after some years and his son asks him to sing an Elvis Presley's song. 

This is the act:

One day you and I are going to sing together my love.
I Love You and miss you loads.

Dad

Just thinking of you...

I really have nothing to say, but I was sitting here and thinking about you my little Ava. I hope that some day you will understand and know that I love and miss you very much.

@ Tuddenham Mill

This was at Bramley's Big Adventure where we played together

I miss your smiley happy face

Why is life so unkind, for my daughter I can not see.
For every day that passes by, I miss her so much.
I miss her smiley happy face, and her cheeky little ways.
I miss her hugs and kisses too.
I really miss the times, we spent at the park, oh, my life feels really unhappy at times.

We would go on neighbourhood walks too, that’s something she likes to do.
We take some food and feed the dog, and see all the animals she loves so much.
I know she loves and misses me, for I love my girl, don't you see.
She's her daddy's girl you know, it breaks my heart because I love and miss her so.
Why should the mother get all the support, while the fathers don't get a second thought.

For I feel my girl is hurting too, I feel her pain, believe me I do.
For the precious time, we have shared before.
Was fun and laughter, please don't ignore.
For my girl should be here with me, this can’t be wrong, please let it be.

This situation is tearing me apart, I am very broken heart.
All I’m asking for is some time, to spend with my girl on my own time.
I know she's feeling sad and blue, for she doesn't know, just what to do.
It's so much pressure for her too, for she has no say in what she does.

For Fathers Rights they just ignore, for there's no justice anymore.
What about my Daughter's rights, to see her daddy when she likes.
Life's hard enough, cruel and even unkind.
So why can't I see my Daughter on my own time.
Who's to say when or where I can see my Daughter,
For I believe the law should be altered.
And Justice for the father there must be, and change the law immediately.
So please hear my plea and give me peace of mind,
And help me see that little girl of mine.
For Fathers have feelings and heartaches too, And help my heart stop feeling blue.

There must be Fathers worldwide, who share this pain I feel deep inside.

It's been three months since I’ve seen my Daughter.
It's so unfair what they're doing to my Daughter.

Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter.  To our daughters there is something which there are no words to express.

I Love you my princess

My dear you are the happy memories of the past, the joyful moments of the present, and the hope and promise of the future.

You are a day brightener and a heart warmer.

More photos darling

@ Hyde Park

Happy Birthday Adilia

Today is Adilia's birthday, she turned 50.

Ava my darling Adilia looked after you for the first 15 months of your life and she loves you too.
She is lovely caring woman who also misses you everyday.
I remember that whenever she got home and you heard her voice you ran as fast  as you could to the gate to see her.
She was a very important person to me and she played a an important role in your upbringing, i'm sure you'll play with her one day again.

Here's one of a few photos i have of you together.

Summer 2010 Cannes, South of france

I love you my darling daughter Ava.
xx
Dad

Feels like forever

Baby Ava, until 5 months ago yesterday we spend almost every single day together, had loads of fun, had breakfast and dinner together.
I hope that one day we can still do these things together my angel.

I love and miss you

Dad

May 2011

Honey this was taken in May 2011

I LOVE YOU

My angel Ava I'll love you thru all eternity
I wrote this from my heart to let you know you're my sweetheart
I love you Ava.

This was on Christmas day 2010 at Notting Hill Brasserie sweetie just before we headed to Brazil to see grandpa and grandma 

we having fun together my dear

when dad bought your piano 

On your 1st birthday my love

Paddington Bear, present from uncle John on your 1st birthday

You loved wearing dad's shades

and dad's spetacles

Miss you my darling

I would cross a thousand oceans & climb a thousand mountains just to hold you tight. Darling I miss you so much.

@ E&O
I loved when you fell asleep in my arms

10 April 2011

I dedicate this blog to my precious daughter Ava.

My lovely daughter Ava Harley Roque Pereira, born at Hospital

of St John and St Elizabeth on 2nd February 2010, 14:37GMT, 

weighing in at 6lbs 97ounces (3.16 Kilos) and 21.26 inches long (54 centimeters).